Thursday 21 February 2019

Tired....

Tired tired tired.....dead.




(Image from https://www.janiceotremba.com/defacing-depression/ - a brilliant commentator)

Current mood.


Yep, detoxing from an anti-depressant that I should never have been prescribed after last year when I had a mild SSRI =


Suicidal Thoughts.

Brain shocks (read mini seizures)

Urine looks like Orange Fanta/Tango.

Mood swings (duh)

Vertigo (fallen twice down the stairs)

Nightmares (yep - but some dreams are brilliant, almost a screen play in their awesomeness)

Vomiting - green bile, even though I fast and do not eat past 8pm

Tiredness - sleeping for 15 hours per day in some instances.

Do *not*ask  about the hallucinations...seriously, don't.

Now an orphan - both parents dead.


Hey, thank you NHS.


So, new regime, no more ADs, looking forward to two weeks in Orlando (Florida) later this year (with other half, on a holibob, not last minute dot com, lol) no more pouring boiling hot water over skin when there is a perceived allergic reaction (or cutting myself).  Yep, that is a thing now.

And trying not to choke to death when throat closes up and restricts breathing.  That's not cool.  GP said drink more water (yep).  Sleeping 15 hours per day is now also a "thing".  Mood swings where I cannot stop crying about stupid stuff.  The crushing lack of hopelessness regarding my possessions, what is left of my family and how I can possibly live the life of a "normal" human being".

Fear, hopelessness, failure.

Yep, welcome to my world.

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