From the archives - Reviewing Classic films. Zombie Creeping Flesh/AKA Hell of the Living Dead

This was culled from an old Livejournal post from way way back in the day.  I had a lot of fun putting it together and after watching Zombie Creeping Flesh recently (on this lovely Blu Ray), I wanted to relive the humour of this timeless movie classic.  (Edited slightly to reflect current trends in acceptable/PC language).


So - the ennui sets in and I have a little venture through my DVD collection, picking out all manner of movies to watch or chill out to. Whilst doing job apps and the like, I prefer something not too taxing on the brain and something I can dip in or out of without worrying too much about plot points (or the lack of). Perfect movies for this include no-brainers like the Luigi Cossi classic Star Crash which features the acting talents of David Hasselhof, Caroline Munroe (eye candy!) and a very embarrassed looking Christopher Plummer or the 1979 version of Flash Gordon. Movies like the above are often (misguidedly) treasured objects from our childhood - and give us a quick fix memory trip back to happier, more simple times.

Today - I felt in a mood to watch a zombie movie. I usually reserve the "good" ones for night time viewing as they are more effective but selected the 1978 Spanish "Zombie Creeping Flesh" (AKA Hell of the Living Dead) for my viewing pleasure.

Let me get this straight - Zombie Creeping Flesh is a bad movie. It has no redeeming qualities whatsover. Badly made, badly shot, badly scripted, badly acted. In fact, let's just say it's a bit shit really. But, in its defence, there is something in this movie that brings me back time and time again to sit through its sheer bloody awfulness. The effects are, shall we say, basic. They use a cat to jump out of a false stomach in a zombie. Yes, a real live cat that looks really pissed off.

This movie is the equivalent of a puppy with specific educational or physical needs - you really want to hate it but you can't - then it does something that really pisses you off but it's still a puppy. It's cute but does awful things like urinating on the carpet or takes a dump in your cereal bowl. Flawed but lovable.

So - in the spirit of my previous Public Information Films, I present to you -

Zombie Creeping Flesh - AKA Hell of the Living Dead







Credited to Bruno Mattei, Spanish hack director also had a hand in completing Lucio Fulci's return to the zombie making genre, "Zombie 3". He also managed to fuck that one up too.



Zombie Creeping Flesh (ZCF) came about as a result of the popularity of Romero's Dawn of the Dead in 1978. The Italian and Spanish market clamoured for more product - pitches and scripts were sold and bandied around Cannes and The Paris Film Festival in the way Pokemon cards are swapped up in school playgrounds. For every good "homage" to Romero's Masterpiece (Fulci's Zombi 2 and his subsequent follow ons), there were 10 god awful rip offs - Zombi Holocaust, Nightmare City are two which spring instantly to mind.

Immitation could be argued as being the highest form of flattery around 1978 but it did not make for good viewing. The iconic characters that Romero created were totally ripped off in ZCF - and the sound track created by Italian rock group Goblin, was made up of out takes from Dawn of the Dead (and Cozzi's Alien rip off, "Contamination".

ZCF starts promisingly - with a bunch of scientists working on a project called "Hope" which is designed to cure world hunger. As with the best laid plans, things go awry when a Zombie Rat (yes, you heard correctly) burrows into a badly costumed tech guy. Some green gas escapes and the shit hits the fan.

You can tell this movie was made in 1978 - the archetypal scientist looks very "trustworthy".



Yes - that is his hand pretending to be the zombie rat. Actors back in those days really earned their cash.



All the zombies look essentially the same - green make up and an inane expression. If you look at later zombies in this post - they are either pissing themselves laughing or are taking it way too seriously.





As you can see - the Romero influence is pretty big. The guy on the left is a bit shoutey in this movie and the guy on the right thinks he's some kind of Robert De Niro method actor.



At this point - our heroes are about to storm an embassy and kill lots of terrorists that look about 15 (apart from 1 guy who has a mustache). The woman is obviously modelled on Patty Hearst. I think Patty has a lot to answer for on the cliched female terrorist front.



And the media - as if the police would let you that close to film your crack team of commandos doing the "shoot to kill" thing.



Police triumph over terrorist scum. Why are they wearing sunglasses in doors???? Is it some terrorist chic thing?? They do look pretty young to be terrorists?



OK! 25 minutes in and we see zombies again! Hooray! This one looks like my ex boss, Roger.



Now - this is why I love this movie. The acting. Margit Evelyn Newton deserves an oscar for just...well, being her. Gets her tits out at the drop of a hat and does facial expressions such as this.



And of course - the zombie acting. Either they are smiling or just being a bit shit really. The zombies are pretty well dressed for people who live in the deepest darkest part of the New Guinea forests



Now - I think the script guy wanted to make us feel something, that the ombie apocalypse is a serious thing really. So what does he do? Sticks a zombie child in there. During this sequence someone is prompting the kid off camera as we see his eyes dart across and he is obviously copying facial expressions/movements from a AD or something.



ah - more zombies. The one on the left looks like someone has stuck cornflakes to his face with prit-stick glue. None of this high budget CGI shite - this is made from stuff you can find in your food cupboards.



And it sinks into yet another cliche. Why, oh why do women just stand there in zombie movies and let themselves be attacked? C'mon, surely she must have some suvival instinct?



Yep - still standing...



This has utterly no logic to it. Yet it happens in so many films. Am sure if you saw the walking dead wandering down your road, you would run like buggery in the opposite direction and not let said zombie wrap its necrotic little paws around your throat???

Terry Wogan in Zombie movie shocker?



Ok - so we've had the scientist, terrorists, zombies, media and now for the *boobies*



This scene involves the heroine heading to a small village, getting her kit off, a bit of body painting and a little dancing. Sounds like a typical night in B'ham really.



Is that MAC lipstick she's wearing?

They used a lot of preshot "stock footage" for this movie. You get a bit of dialog then a shot of the jungle obviously lifted (or stolen) from a TV show.



And back to "native girl". I'm sure she's peeing standing up in this shot.



And scary hand gestures - how could you say no to that?



But all we want to do is check her ass out:



Time for more boobies:



And natives!



New Guinea is marketing a new line in blow up sex dolls.



Coming to a sex shop near you soon.



Do you get owls in the jungles of Papua New Guinea?



It's Jimi Hendrix - as a zombie! Hey Jimi, I've got all your records, man



Budget is running low - surely they can afford more than 6 zombies?



this is what happens to catalogue models when they become zombies:





More bad acting:



Yes - that is a papier mache head:



More great zombie acting:



Ooooh, a scary skeleton in a swimming pool. Could this be a sophisticated bit of plot foreshadowing?



I think Simon Pegg saw this and ripped it off for Shaun of the Dead? Seriously...humans + zombies + a slide?



When you see a character wearing a tutu and tap dancing when there are zombies around, you know this person will die. It's in the rules, man



As to special effects - they put a real live cat in a zombie woman's stomach. The cat looks and sounds far from happy.






OK - so was this movie directed by Stevie Wonder? She is not holding that gun straight! This was before the days when actors were sent on Boot Camp to train them up for doing basic stuff like walking in straight lines or delivering dialog without tripping over the scenery?



More zombies - this reminds me of the days when I worked in a record store. People would line up outside and rub their faces against the windows. In the winter, these pale faces used to freak me out. (Note the centre female zombie appears to be really enjoying herself).



Oh my god - did they put a stick up the guy's ass on the left?



I'm sure this stunt zombie would have needed medical help after this one:





This zombie looks like author Iain Banks



More facial acting - this scene lasts about 10 seconds and he does so many expressions. I think De Niro could learn something from this guy.







Yep - more foreshadowing. I think the director took a leaf out of the Damien Day school of film making (ref to Drop the Dead Donkey).



Another snap from the beach at Morocco where we went on holiday. They are chasing Linda at this moment for some cash.



More facial acting - don't worry, he dies soon.





This chick would be hot if it wasn't for all the blood and shit on her face. I can live with the blank expression though...



More bad zombie over acting:



Now - see the zombie lady on the right of the frame. I think she does porn or something because all through this scene she keeps making a "blow job" type mouth at the camera. You cannot tell from the two grabs here but it is pretty funny in the film.





And that is a really bad wig on the zombie to the rear left.

I think the zombie in the centre is a bad pupeteer - she keeps holding her hands up like she's operating sock puppets or something??



Yep - a main character gets the zombie treatment yet he looks and acts the same as when he was human...



A very bad special effect. I could make a Helen Keller joke here but I won't.



and finally - after all the characters die horribly, the action switches to Central Park where this hussy tries to get a light from a zombie.





Except zombies don't smoke...





And everyone lives happily ever after.



the End!

Photo Friday!

#retro #film

Excited!

Ridley Scott's Alien - 4K UHD disc.

Yep, I am one of those who are the on the 4K UHD HDR bandwagon.  

Outside of Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark and the Star Wars movies (aside from SW:  The Last Jedi which already has a 4K UHD disc) this is possibly one of my most eagerly awaited releases.

I remember watching Alien on the telly box (Cathode Ray Tube) back in the day.  All the blacks looked grey, it was in 4:3 image aspect ratio (which meant the image was cropped) but it was still bloody amazing.  I think this, with my 5.1 sound system will be a treat for both the eyes and the ears.

My 4K Blu Ray library is growing at a good rate but this whole dystopian view of physical media is becoming tiresome.  Netflix et al are great but if you like something and want to future proof it, you cannot beat having something on the shelf as streaming movies is nice but it doesn't mean you'll be able to access it forever as some companies can pull those titles at the drop of a hat.

Counting down the days for this release... :)

Mid-week catch up

Secret fact about me - I *adore* the music of Sir Elton John.  Yeah, I know, not down with the kids or  being cool.  His compositions, songs and lyrics just cut to the heart of the matter.  Like Bowie, Lennon and The Stones, they shaped many of us 20th Century kids who listened to the radio during the 70's and 80's

Other fact - I believe that Bohemian Rhapsody was an amazing film (excluding the taint from the controversy of the "original" director" but I am not qualified to comment on that.  All I know and feel is that the film portrayed a massively difficult narrative in a sensitive way, to protect the memories and legacy of Freddy and his lovers).

I'm a massive fan of actor and director Dexter Fletcher - if you ever get the chance, track down the series that was created by Mr Steven Moffat in the 80's.  It's can be purchased here and it is some of the best drama ever made (seriously, it's a kid's show but the themes, OMG!)

Fletcher, has directed this and I will be there on day one - Rocket Man.

But, back to Sir Elton and Taron.  One of my all time favourite songs. Two of the most brilliant and talented people sharing a stage to highlight the work of an amazing charity.

 Enjoy!

Therapy Tuesday

I've been back in therapy (1-1) for the last 3 months.

It is helping, massively but, gosh it takes its toll.  Each session is painful, funny and enlightening.  I learn something new about myself and how I deal with things.

OK - Today's session.

• I am not a terrible person, I'm actually articulate, funny and possibly creative.  Greg, my therapist, said that I am very funny.  I do use humour as a shield sometimes  (although I need to work on my delivery.
• Greg asked me about my screenplay and asked for a run down of the first act.  He liked it but worst pitch ever.  If I am ever in the position to sell this, I need to be prepared.  I was not expecting to be asked about it.  Totally unprepared.
• Anti-depressants are possibly no longer me (daily intake) but look to alternate support mechanisms (Beta-Blockers or something to reduce anxiety).
• I have massive issues with suppressing anger and dealing with it (in life outside of work).  Fight or Flight confirmed.  We discussed "Helicopter Theory" (Imagine you are in a situation, viewing it from above and evaluate it.  What could go wrong, what could make things go more smoothly).  (Note:  I am not violent and would never resort to a physical reaction unless my life, or that of Linda's was under threat.  Physical violence scares me)
• My "strange" family history.
• The darker stuff was super dark, not talking about it here.  Probably never (I hope)
• Depression and anxiety is a "time thief".  I realised this along time ago (NOT in a Galaxy Far Far Away).  I voiced my concerns that I am not feeling up to living like this tomorrow, next month...yadda yadda yadda but he assured me that I can change things.
• Physics and death.  I tried to apply basic physics.  Energy cannot be destroyed, it just changes it state/form.  You burn a piece of wood, that releases energy but my stupid,awful brain also applied this to death.  Energy changes form but no one has ever come back from the dead (yet!).  What if my brain (still aware) is trapped in a decaying body.....*shudder*.  That one will keep me awake for a long long time.
• Having good things to look forward to.  Life is not about hurdles and failure.  It's about perspective and more importantly, hope.
  
  So, that was my afternoon.  It felt like lancing a boil but I found out a few interesting things.
  
  So, Therapy wins today!
  
  YAY!

Number one!

To all my fantastic friends out there!

James B, Ingrid, Eva, Brandy Lee, Marg OC and Linds.

All the people who have believed in me over the years and new friends (James, Elena En. K, Natasha G and the amazing Joylan Brilliance).  Apols if I missed anyone out here!  Love you all!


Thank you. x

The Diary of Me vs Detoxing from Anti-Depressants.

Five days in from cutting out the Venlafaxine.  

The past five days have felt like an eternity of vertigo, sickness, brain shocks (more like mini seizures), lucid dreams, awful nightmares, no co-ordination, vomiting and online shopping (not one of the listed side effects but I have a some new "Dooms Day" Prepping Equipment, a Captain Marvel Action Figure, a Funko Goose the Cat and some Lego)  

The past 9 or 10 years I have felt like I have been kept on ice

Feeling things again has been a shock to the system.


I think I had forgotten what it was like to experience emotions and feelings. 

The Good.

Art, books, music, film, talking to the cats, sunlight and the experience of a great meal.  Appreciating my physical form and how it reacts to pleasurable situations.  Feeling my emotions well up (happy or sad), experiencing that bursting sensation in my chest.

The Bad.

Memories of a past that are out of my reach, mistakes I have made, people I have let down, actions I can never change, moments of soul destroying sadness, crying over silly things that are recalling the bitter and the sweet at the same time.
  

The Ugly.

Anger.  Fear.  Hate.  Not being able to control my emotional reactions or responses.  Even using my intellect cannot stop that instant Fight/flight paradigm.  A lack of trust in people.  Not being brave enough to call things out when I should have.  


How do I move forward?  

Well, I think it's dumb to say after five days of feeling more alive that things will improve but it's a start.  I'm not an adventurous person but several people have recommended this as a treatment and it's in the realm of possibility (one day but given my current working arrangements, it's completely off reservation and is not a viable option).


Five Days.  It feels more like Five Years.  


Ask how things are going in 10 days........

Something for a Sunday afternoon

"Still a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest"....

I was caught up in my own problems - 4 February 2005.  Miss you, dad x

14 years - passed in an instant, you weren't perfect but you ensured Andy (my brother - even though we never met until 1992, family secrets suck) and myself were never hungry or bereft.  You taught me some harsh life lessons but maybe you were right.

Phil -  30 March 1946 * 4 February 2005.

In the clearing stands a boxer

And a fighter by his trade

And he carries the reminders

Of every glove that laid him down

Or cut him till he cried out

In his anger and his shame

"I am leaving, I am leaving"

But the fighter still remains

Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

This was the second film we watched this evening.  People (read:  Fans) are divided.  Personally, it's in my top 28 movies of all time.


Brilliant, bold, emotional, pitch perfect - although, some of the narrative threads are a bit "testing"  (Casino world, Hodo and Poe's incessant *emo* trip, however, he does light the spark...eventualy) but...I love it with every thread of my being and existence.

Also, Porgs and crystal critters, yo!

Rey, Finn, Poe, BB8, Luke, Kylo, Yoda, Captain Phasma and Chewie!

Leia (Carrie Fisher, we all miss you x)

John Wick

Tonight is gonna be about Cantonese food and a film.  In this case - John Wick.

Skeletal Saturday!

Photo Friday!

2006

Tired....

Tired tired tired.....dead.

(Image from https://www.janiceotremba.com/defacing-depression/ - a brilliant commentator)

Current mood.


Yep, detoxing from an anti-depressant that I should never have been prescribed after last year when I had a mild SSRI =


Suicidal Thoughts.

Brain shocks (read mini seizures)

Urine looks like Orange Fanta/Tango.

Mood swings (duh)

Vertigo (fallen twice down the stairs)

Nightmares (yep - but some dreams are brilliant, almost a screen play in their awesomeness)

Vomiting - green bile, even though I fast and do not eat past 8pm

Tiredness - sleeping for 15 hours per day in some instances.

Do *not*ask  about the hallucinations...seriously, don't.

Now an orphan - both parents dead.


Hey, thank you NHS.


So, new regime, no more ADs, looking forward to two weeks in Orlando (Florida) later this year (with other half, on a holibob, not last minute dot com, lol) no more pouring boiling hot water over skin when there is a perceived allergic reaction (or cutting myself).  Yep, that is a thing now.

And trying not to choke to death when throat closes up and restricts breathing.  That's not cool.  GP said drink more water (yep).  Sleeping 15 hours per day is now also a "thing".  Mood swings where I cannot stop crying about stupid stuff.  The crushing lack of hopelessness regarding my possessions, what is left of my family and how I can possibly live the life of a "normal" human being".

Fear, hopelessness, failure.

Yep, welcome to my world.

Photo Friday....

The status quo

For the past two years, I have been struggling with depression and levels of mental health.  It could go back much longer (which I will refer to in a little while in this post).

In February 2017, one of my closest friends and mentors passed away.  Dave H gave me my first proper job (outside of flipping hamburgers in a well known High Street franchise). 

At that time (circa 1988) when my parents' marriage was, well, dying - he was like a best friend (even though he had a mullet haircut). 

He offered me employment, advice, a shoulder to cry on when I needed it (c'mon, I was 18) but above all, believed in me.

He made me read great books (Jonathan Carroll, Harlan Ellison and Joe R Lansdale).  He also, introduced me to great cinema (Argento - Suspiria) and David Lynch (Eraserhead....but more importantly, Twin Peaks - he had the habit of leaving messages singing the Twin Peaks theme on the analogue answering machine in the house I shared).

Like my friend, Pete Cemm who passed away (in 2004) from something that could have been avoided in the hospital he was being treated in, I think about them both everyday.  Both of the lifelong friends meant the world to me and I miss their presence, wisdom and most of all, their brilliance.  My life would be a lesser place if I never met them.

But, what bothered me was a memory in 2006 when someone who appeared to be a "friend" said to me "Are you happy?"  At that time, I had just lost my father and my closest friend and my brain screamed "I am in a deep depression and that has to be the most insensitive and crass thing I have ever heard from anyone who walked this planet".  Yet, that person thought it was an appropriate question and from this day, I still cannot believe that they said that.

Is anyone happy?  I doubt it - most of the people I know live from pay day to pay day.  They struggle with bills, keeping their kids fed and making a living.  "Are they happy?".  I think not.  They survive and endure.  Happiness for them might be a good meal or not having to worry about tomorrow's struggle.


Skipping forward, 2017, I have recorded this before but not in this kind of detail.  Around Easter in 2017, my mum (Gwen) could not put a sentence together.  She had issues with eating, speaking and looking after herself.

  After a number of tests (based on nutrition) which were invasive and horrid (MRI, colonoscopies and other horrid things), she had a fall at her home. 

I found her, in her bedroom after she missed an appointment with the doctor and she did not answer the phone.  The paramedics were amazing and got her to the hospital.  Linda and I spent the next many hours in ER with mum.  Over the next few days we found out she had terminal lung cancer which was not spotted by her GP.  The following weeks were spent with deciding next steps (DNR - do not resuscitate decisions - how could I make that decision?)

Her quality of life was, horrible (she pulled out the needle from her drip in frustration, she screamed in pain at night so she was moved to a private room).  When Linda and I received "the call" at 5:40 am, I ran along the corridors only to touch her hand only to find it was cold and lifeless.  I called the Doctor and a nurse only to see them go through the motions (open mum's mouth, check pulse, slap her face, check eyes then call the time of death on the chart according to the clock on the wall).  At this time, I am slumped in a chair in the corner of the room.

So, go back to 2006.  Am I happy?  No.  Is my mum happy?  No.  How about the friends who are dead?  Are they happy?  No.

What I am trying to say is - check your privilege.  If you are breathing and are living.  Good.  If you are in a space where you can judge others without understanding them - not good.

People may not be happy but we're still breathing and struggling.  Which is a great achievement, I hope.

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