(Not so) Guilty Pleasures - Ringu

(Not so) Guilty Pleasures - Afterlife 2019 (Ricky Gervais and Brandy the Dog)

Brilliant - funny, tragic, heart breaking.....but...optimistic

"We can't change the world but we can change ourselves".

Scifi Friday!

Hypno-Woman!

Lucy = Simba?

I need to sort out my #lionking obsession.  Although, how can you not adore lucy!  (This was taken by her foster cat parent.  Lucy is a lot less cute and a lot bigger now but we still love her!)

(Not so) Guilty Pleasures - Baby Driver

I've been a long time fan of Edgar Wright since the ground breaking TV show Spaced.

There are few people in the world who you could say that every project they touch turns into a slice of Fried Gold.

Baby Driver, one of  Edgar's most recent films was a tour de force, lightning in a bottle and reminiscent of an early Tarantino film.  Don't take my word for it, just watch it.

Bucket List: The Lion King

Oh fuck.  I feel like I have been destroyed.  By cartoon lions.

Every child on the planet should watch this movie.

However, 40 something adults living with the effects of PTSD or Depression.  No. 

Kidding aside, this was one of the most painful and beautiful cinematic experiences ever.  Still in tears but glad I watched it after putting it off for all these years.

Oh god, I need to see this at the cinema but I know it will destroy me again*

Make Zombies Great Again!

Now, for all those who "know" me, I'm a bit of a zombie movie fan (especially the Romero movies, with Dawn of the Dead 1978) being my all time favourite to the point where I collect as many different versions as I can on DVD/VHS/Blu-Ray/4K UHD and the like. I also have a signed photo from Mr Romero himself that sits framed on the wall next to autographed photos of Ken Foree, Greg Nicotero, Flyboy and Pillsbury.

I have a massive soft spot for all of the Romero movies, especially Day of the Dead but my history with that film can wait for another blog post.  

I have a pretty nifty merchandise collection including the recent trading card release from Fright Rags alongside an original UK Quad cinema poster that is framed and located in our hallway at home.  I also have these bad boys and am awaiting delivery of these too.   Alongside books, magazines, and the like.  (* refer to note at the end of this post).

Outside of the collecting thing, Dawn of the Dead 1978 (DOTD) was a "media game changer" for me.  I first viewed after renting it in a video store in 1983.  I was 12 years old, loved horror movies and remember digging TV shows like the BBC's version of Day of the Triffids.

Prior to renting DOTD, choice of movies could be a bit "pot luck" and it was more about the covers.  Video rental stores around the advent of VHS were more about "weekly hire" which could be expensive but this meant sharing the costs and swapping tapes amongst friends.

Around this time, 1982, the business would shift to 24 hour rentals which was much more reasonable and accessible.  Even high street shops like "Radio Rentals" got in on this (I am not going to comment on the Video Nasty debacle as it sours what was an interesting and fantastically brilliant time for 12 year old me who had a voracious appetite for movies in all shapes, genres and forms).

Companies came and went but the one that stuck in my mind was the "Alpha Intervision" video label.  What set this company apart from the others was its use of trailers and previews and this particular one (see trailer above) caught my eye and blew my mind!  (***Please refer to note at bottom of this post)

After many months of waiting, I finally got to watch it over a rainy weekend.  Actually, I watched it three times, digesting each shot and scene of gore over the the 24 hour rental period.  Time has been kind to us, the VHS was heavily cut and we now have multiple versions, cuts and extras galore.  (I recently picked up this and it is now my go to version.

So, why did this movie break my brain.  Well, in lieu of some data packed exploration filled with dense text and references, I will break it down into bullet points.

• The collapse of society.  Britain and most of the world this point was locked into the mitts of the Cold War.  A horrid triangle of fear between Russia, the USA and the UK.  Speaking to the people who I grew up with, our fears stemmed from not only nuclear war but diseases, invasions and the like. 
• The politics - which I kind of understood at the time regarding consumerism.
• Zombies - they could be your best friend, parents or neighbours.  Trust no one!  (However, I didn't have a great childhood or school experience so I used to wake up every morning feeling disappointed that there was no zombie takeover).
• The action - very comic book but quite frenetic.
• Who would not want to live in a Shopping mall??!!
• How the "common" man and social agencies deal with something they have never encountered:  be it law enforcement agencies, the hunting community, the National guard, biker gangs and interestingly, the media.
• The images - locking back into the collapse of society, there is a shot in DOTD that chilled me to the core.  It wasn't flesh being torn off bones or the blatant disregard for human life - it was this frame regarding the lights being switched off floor by floor in an office building.  Around 18 minutes and 10 seconds in.  (It resonated with me in a way this PIF did back in the 70's.)
• Edit - 7 March 2019.  I also forgot to mention the soundtrack by Italian prog rockers Goblin (who worked in collaboration with Dario Argento on the music).  See video below, when I first heard this, I thought my urine would turn to ice)
  

So, to sum up - DOTD was a cultural phenomenon.

Over the years, the zombie genre has evolved, being embraced and renewed with each generation of viewer - during the 70's and 80's, auteur Lucio Fulci took Romero's vision and kind of warped it to a more European sensibility.  What were deemed to be cheap cash in films that were designed to make a quick buck are now deemed to be classic examples of zombie cinema.   (Note:  This article states that "28 Days Later" is a Zombie movie, which while being a fantastic film, in my opinion, both entries in the franchise are  *not* zombie movies).

The zombie genre has not only been confined to movies but has exploded across many media platforms (the game, Resident Evil really kick started the trend bringing it to a new generation).  The comic book genre flirted with the genre for a while but it wasn't until October 2003 with the advent of Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead, published by Image Comics.

Around 2003, I was an avid collector and still a zombie movie fan.  I scoured Previews for new fixes of comics and action figures *religiously*.    This book caught my eye and I added it to my standing order an when it arrived and I read it, I knew this was going to blow the hinges off the genre and be something very special.

I am one of the lucky few to have bagged and boarded this 1st printing and it's stored somewhere very safe now.  I have every issue to date, some alternative covers all bagged and stored (many only read once).  I also have many action figures from the series but the Rick and Daryl are the best.

 I'm currently 3 years behind with my comic book reading due to depression and a loss of interest in life in general but I hope to fix that.  The last issues I read were when the whisperers took on the Kingdom.  That ending was such a downer that I had to step back for a while.  Don't get me started on Shiva!  Still brings a lump to my throat.

However, the number of comics to read has increased (at my last count, 3.5 long boxes (different titles, not just WD).

Let's skip some time beats - the TV series comes along and it was a smash hit pardon the pun (look out Glenn!).

Now, why the segue from Dawn the TWD?  **  (refer to note below)

Over the years, audience members have complained that the show (and some of Romero's later "Dead" films) have lost their way.  I disagree with this completely, having enjoyed all of Romero's Zombie Oeuvre but I do think the WTD show's most recent seasons have been unnecessarily brutal , downright nasty or feel contrived and stretched out.

However, this is a massive bloody however, the last few episodes of the new series PRG (post Rick Grimes) have been amazing.  I'm back on board and wondering to see how the fight between Daryl and Beta plays out.

*Collecting for me is important as outside of the film/text - I get to have something cool!

**I see all three forms of the media (TWD comic/TWD the series and DOTD) as complementing each other.  But, they differ dramatically.  In both good and bad ways.  This post is not designed to provide a textual analysis but what I want to achieve is how the genre has evolved and maintained overseen the evolution of its audience that spans over 40 years.  What is is designed to do is to illustrate and explore the relationship I have with the media (in a very superficial way).


***Why am I writing this?  Well, my therapist is encouraging me to balance the negative with the good.  It occurred to me the VHS era was a massive influence and source of enjoyment/discovery for me.  Hence, these "scribbles.

My weakness is strong!

I know people knock Buzzfeed but some of their  videos are amazing, especially the "Worth It Series".

Do not watch on an empty stomach!

Despair and disappointment aside...I wish the world was more like this video

I don't like being disappointed, depressed or living in a state of despair but at least we have videos, pets, good books, loved ones and truthful people out there?

An open letter to the Guardian "newspaper"

Free speech is not owned by the left or the right.  It's owned by everyone and this video shows why #owenjones is a fascist - he wants to de-platform people to hide his own lies.  Owen Jones is a crypto-fascist but he is too stupid not to recognise that.

Charlie Brooker...genius!

Charlie Brooker is a genius. Not just a genius but an auteur.  He's flawed, brilliant, whimsical, frightened, passionate, compassionate and that is what fuels what he does and how he does it.

(Not bad flaws, he mirrors the flaws in us and wider society, pardon the pun, in ourselves)

His influences are in line with my own - (Romero, Carpenter and the fears/pitfalls of "reality television").  Alongside the potential dangers of rogue, fascist, bullying and thuggish "organisations".  (Time will tell on this one).

He describes himself as a "worrier" which makes sense.  He's a walking dichotomy and a paradigm shift on legs (If he ever actually read this, he'd call me a pretentious wanker and I would say, Charlie, go back to playing Manic Miner and watch all those Alpha Intervision VHS tapes we loved back in the day).  Not in an insulating way (Edit - I meant to say "insulting" but my stupid brain did a "thing" - the 80's, for all their faults we like comfort media food for the brain) but I think that he understood the 80's gaming and movie culture were a much better and more honest place.  Hence the way he tries to challenge the status quo.

The point is, he's a voice and a writer for *my* generation.  He vocalises our fears, passions and more importantly, the ideals we stood for.


I think future media commentators will liken him to Rod Serling, William (Uncle Bill) Burroughs and more importantly, Ballard and Orwell.

Film Critique - Ghost Rider (2007)

Culled from an old Livejournal post.

It's a movie about a skeleton on a motorcycle.

He's also on fire a lot of the time.

Battleship Potempkin it ain't.



Right, where do I start? Sometime in the 1970's perhaps? As a kid growing up I came into contact with a lot of comics. Some I loved (Spider-Man, Batman, Justice League, The Champions, The Avengers). Some I hated (Roy of the Rovers - I wasn't a footballing type...errr..that was about it really) and some I was pretty ambivalent about (Superman, Iron Man, The Flash and a few other 70's odds and ends). That's if I would have known what ambivalent meant back then. These were the "meh" comics and Ghost Rider sat firmly in the "meh" camp. Why? Well, I didn't dig the occult really as a 7 year old. I was more into the science as opposed the Mystical. Doctor Strange never did it for me either. He was like a great big hippy with a dodgy moustache but I digress. I was more into the science or the gadgets and Batman/Spidey supplied that for me in droves. Also the human drama, Peter Parker was *real* for me, girl friend trouble, work trouble, apartment trouble, super villain trouble. It was all trouble this and trouble that back in the day (I promise not to use trouble again in this post, you may hit me with a cattleprod if I do). There did come a time (pre-Watchmen and Dark Knight Returns when I outgrew the capes and costumes thing but Star Wars was there for me back then).

Now, back to Ghost Rider. I didn't like the character. Full stop. His comic incarnation was dull. There was hardly any conflict and the character felt 2 Dimensional. Coupled with the fact that he was a ginge didn't help. The odds were stacked against him really. He only ever really came to life for me when he "Teamed Up" or worked as part of an organised set of heroes (The Champions was an excellent example, but I guess I liked them more for a certain Ms Natasha Romanov).

He rode about on a bike.

*yawn*

He set fire to people. And he had chains which were either quite rock and roll or S&M depending on your view.

*okay, slightly less of a yawn*

And that was it really. A Fucking Skeleton. On a motorcycle. On fire.


Now, back to the ginge thing. (Edit 2019:  This was 2007 where the "ginge" thing was at its apex.  If I was writing this today, I would have edited that out).

Marvel has its fair share of beaten ginger step children but at least 2 of them transcended that curse. Daredevil (the non movie version) certainly broke this mould. And he was Catholic too. Man, those writers were harsh back in the day. And Ms Romanov (AKA Black Widow) certainly had her moments but I think she's more of a red head than a ginge so we'll let her off (apols to any of my ginge friends, this is all meant in jest, yo).

The character always has an always will be a "C Lister", kind of like the comic book equivalent to Jodie Marsh or Russell Brand.

So, enter Nic Cage (he of the son called Kal-El and mullet fame for the excellent movie Con Air). Says he's born to play the role and even has a tattoo of Johnny Blaze.

So, they rope Mark Steven Johnson in (or Daredevil movie fame - ok, I like it, sue me) to shoot it but like the comic it lacks something.

Well, it lacks several things:

A heart - it feels purely cynical. A comic book movie for the sake of a comic book movie. I keep hearing echoes of Batman and Robin but I am not that cruel. I wasn't that execrable either.

A motive - Johnny Blaze's motives just feel a bit wishy washy. Whereas you can understand Bruce Wayne's anguish and unquenchable thrist for revenge, Blaze comes across as a 99 cent store Faust with a bad hair cut.

An engaging central character - Blaze is thick as pig shit all in all.

For a moment, we will take point 4 as the rest are pretty self explanatory. The guy watches chimps doing karate for relaxation then eats jelly beans from a martini glass. A fucking martini glass. Jelly beans? Why????? Why???? Answer me that Mr Cage. Is that something you do in your spare time in between calling your children after comic book characters? Don't get me started on how he came to own rare copies of occult texts and long forgotten editions of Paradise Lost. Please don't.

And the plot. Let's just say there was no plot. That would be easier.

On a final point, the CGI wasn't bad. You will believe a Flaming Skeleton can Ride a Motorcycle. Not that you might want to anyway.

On a final note, there are a million more worthy comic book adaptations out there (ok, maybe I am exagerating - there's probably 10 or 15 at the most). One thing that stuck in my throat was the nature of the universe and the logistics of it. One reviewer has touched upon this but I will add my own brand of pretension (it is my journal afterall). In a universe where we see Skeletons on a Fucking Motorcycle who are ON FIRE (have I got that point across yet?), why do people react as if "jesus, fuck me, that was a Skeleton on a motorcycle who looked as if he was ON FIRE", they all react as if this is a new kind of thing.

Now, knowing that the logic in comic book movies is unique and has its own blend of rules and statutes, why for fuck's sake do they break the "digesis" (the internal world logic of the movie, I learned that word on my degree, aren't I clever?) and act all flakey, knowing that in the "movie" or comic book universe that kind of thing happens. Nods are made here and there to events happening, it is set afterall in the "Marvel-Verse" so why in god's name do the characters react so...stupidly. The only instances where I can think of where I was so immersed in the "digesis" (there, I used it again, go me!) of a movie was "Batman Begins". The characters in that accept the events and don't act all "gosh, wow". The internal logic wasn't broken once in that movie without it going all "Tim Burton-ian" on us. I felt myself pulled out of Ghost Rider many times due to the characters not reacting in a manner that befits a comic book movie. Although on one hand, any characterisation that was built up in this movie was so thinly sketched and faint that even the finest tracing paper would not be able to capture the magnitude of the writer's and producer's cock up who's action should have been to have terminated this script on first draft.


All in all. To sum up.

It wasn't bad. But it wasn't great either.


Certainly not Batman and Robin but it ain't Spider-Man 2 or Batman Begins either. I'd say X-Men 3 was better. But only just.

From the archives - Reviewing Classic films. Zombie Creeping Flesh/AKA Hell of the Living Dead

This was culled from an old Livejournal post from way way back in the day.  I had a lot of fun putting it together and after watching Zombie Creeping Flesh recently (on this lovely Blu Ray), I wanted to relive the humour of this timeless movie classic.  (Edited slightly to reflect current trends in acceptable/PC language).


So - the ennui sets in and I have a little venture through my DVD collection, picking out all manner of movies to watch or chill out to. Whilst doing job apps and the like, I prefer something not too taxing on the brain and something I can dip in or out of without worrying too much about plot points (or the lack of). Perfect movies for this include no-brainers like the Luigi Cossi classic Star Crash which features the acting talents of David Hasselhof, Caroline Munroe (eye candy!) and a very embarrassed looking Christopher Plummer or the 1979 version of Flash Gordon. Movies like the above are often (misguidedly) treasured objects from our childhood - and give us a quick fix memory trip back to happier, more simple times.

Today - I felt in a mood to watch a zombie movie. I usually reserve the "good" ones for night time viewing as they are more effective but selected the 1978 Spanish "Zombie Creeping Flesh" (AKA Hell of the Living Dead) for my viewing pleasure.

Let me get this straight - Zombie Creeping Flesh is a bad movie. It has no redeeming qualities whatsover. Badly made, badly shot, badly scripted, badly acted. In fact, let's just say it's a bit shit really. But, in its defence, there is something in this movie that brings me back time and time again to sit through its sheer bloody awfulness. The effects are, shall we say, basic. They use a cat to jump out of a false stomach in a zombie. Yes, a real live cat that looks really pissed off.

This movie is the equivalent of a puppy with specific educational or physical needs - you really want to hate it but you can't - then it does something that really pisses you off but it's still a puppy. It's cute but does awful things like urinating on the carpet or takes a dump in your cereal bowl. Flawed but lovable.

So - in the spirit of my previous Public Information Films, I present to you -

Zombie Creeping Flesh - AKA Hell of the Living Dead







Credited to Bruno Mattei, Spanish hack director also had a hand in completing Lucio Fulci's return to the zombie making genre, "Zombie 3". He also managed to fuck that one up too.



Zombie Creeping Flesh (ZCF) came about as a result of the popularity of Romero's Dawn of the Dead in 1978. The Italian and Spanish market clamoured for more product - pitches and scripts were sold and bandied around Cannes and The Paris Film Festival in the way Pokemon cards are swapped up in school playgrounds. For every good "homage" to Romero's Masterpiece (Fulci's Zombi 2 and his subsequent follow ons), there were 10 god awful rip offs - Zombi Holocaust, Nightmare City are two which spring instantly to mind.

Immitation could be argued as being the highest form of flattery around 1978 but it did not make for good viewing. The iconic characters that Romero created were totally ripped off in ZCF - and the sound track created by Italian rock group Goblin, was made up of out takes from Dawn of the Dead (and Cozzi's Alien rip off, "Contamination".

ZCF starts promisingly - with a bunch of scientists working on a project called "Hope" which is designed to cure world hunger. As with the best laid plans, things go awry when a Zombie Rat (yes, you heard correctly) burrows into a badly costumed tech guy. Some green gas escapes and the shit hits the fan.

You can tell this movie was made in 1978 - the archetypal scientist looks very "trustworthy".



Yes - that is his hand pretending to be the zombie rat. Actors back in those days really earned their cash.



All the zombies look essentially the same - green make up and an inane expression. If you look at later zombies in this post - they are either pissing themselves laughing or are taking it way too seriously.





As you can see - the Romero influence is pretty big. The guy on the left is a bit shoutey in this movie and the guy on the right thinks he's some kind of Robert De Niro method actor.



At this point - our heroes are about to storm an embassy and kill lots of terrorists that look about 15 (apart from 1 guy who has a mustache). The woman is obviously modelled on Patty Hearst. I think Patty has a lot to answer for on the cliched female terrorist front.



And the media - as if the police would let you that close to film your crack team of commandos doing the "shoot to kill" thing.



Police triumph over terrorist scum. Why are they wearing sunglasses in doors???? Is it some terrorist chic thing?? They do look pretty young to be terrorists?



OK! 25 minutes in and we see zombies again! Hooray! This one looks like my ex boss, Roger.



Now - this is why I love this movie. The acting. Margit Evelyn Newton deserves an oscar for just...well, being her. Gets her tits out at the drop of a hat and does facial expressions such as this.



And of course - the zombie acting. Either they are smiling or just being a bit shit really. The zombies are pretty well dressed for people who live in the deepest darkest part of the New Guinea forests



Now - I think the script guy wanted to make us feel something, that the ombie apocalypse is a serious thing really. So what does he do? Sticks a zombie child in there. During this sequence someone is prompting the kid off camera as we see his eyes dart across and he is obviously copying facial expressions/movements from a AD or something.



ah - more zombies. The one on the left looks like someone has stuck cornflakes to his face with prit-stick glue. None of this high budget CGI shite - this is made from stuff you can find in your food cupboards.



And it sinks into yet another cliche. Why, oh why do women just stand there in zombie movies and let themselves be attacked? C'mon, surely she must have some suvival instinct?



Yep - still standing...



This has utterly no logic to it. Yet it happens in so many films. Am sure if you saw the walking dead wandering down your road, you would run like buggery in the opposite direction and not let said zombie wrap its necrotic little paws around your throat???

Terry Wogan in Zombie movie shocker?



Ok - so we've had the scientist, terrorists, zombies, media and now for the *boobies*



This scene involves the heroine heading to a small village, getting her kit off, a bit of body painting and a little dancing. Sounds like a typical night in B'ham really.



Is that MAC lipstick she's wearing?

They used a lot of preshot "stock footage" for this movie. You get a bit of dialog then a shot of the jungle obviously lifted (or stolen) from a TV show.



And back to "native girl". I'm sure she's peeing standing up in this shot.



And scary hand gestures - how could you say no to that?



But all we want to do is check her ass out:



Time for more boobies:



And natives!



New Guinea is marketing a new line in blow up sex dolls.



Coming to a sex shop near you soon.



Do you get owls in the jungles of Papua New Guinea?



It's Jimi Hendrix - as a zombie! Hey Jimi, I've got all your records, man



Budget is running low - surely they can afford more than 6 zombies?



this is what happens to catalogue models when they become zombies:





More bad acting:



Yes - that is a papier mache head:



More great zombie acting:



Ooooh, a scary skeleton in a swimming pool. Could this be a sophisticated bit of plot foreshadowing?



I think Simon Pegg saw this and ripped it off for Shaun of the Dead? Seriously...humans + zombies + a slide?



When you see a character wearing a tutu and tap dancing when there are zombies around, you know this person will die. It's in the rules, man



As to special effects - they put a real live cat in a zombie woman's stomach. The cat looks and sounds far from happy.






OK - so was this movie directed by Stevie Wonder? She is not holding that gun straight! This was before the days when actors were sent on Boot Camp to train them up for doing basic stuff like walking in straight lines or delivering dialog without tripping over the scenery?



More zombies - this reminds me of the days when I worked in a record store. People would line up outside and rub their faces against the windows. In the winter, these pale faces used to freak me out. (Note the centre female zombie appears to be really enjoying herself).



Oh my god - did they put a stick up the guy's ass on the left?



I'm sure this stunt zombie would have needed medical help after this one:





This zombie looks like author Iain Banks



More facial acting - this scene lasts about 10 seconds and he does so many expressions. I think De Niro could learn something from this guy.







Yep - more foreshadowing. I think the director took a leaf out of the Damien Day school of film making (ref to Drop the Dead Donkey).



Another snap from the beach at Morocco where we went on holiday. They are chasing Linda at this moment for some cash.



More facial acting - don't worry, he dies soon.





This chick would be hot if it wasn't for all the blood and shit on her face. I can live with the blank expression though...



More bad zombie over acting:



Now - see the zombie lady on the right of the frame. I think she does porn or something because all through this scene she keeps making a "blow job" type mouth at the camera. You cannot tell from the two grabs here but it is pretty funny in the film.





And that is a really bad wig on the zombie to the rear left.

I think the zombie in the centre is a bad pupeteer - she keeps holding her hands up like she's operating sock puppets or something??



Yep - a main character gets the zombie treatment yet he looks and acts the same as when he was human...



A very bad special effect. I could make a Helen Keller joke here but I won't.



and finally - after all the characters die horribly, the action switches to Central Park where this hussy tries to get a light from a zombie.





Except zombies don't smoke...





And everyone lives happily ever after.



the End!