Therapy Tuesday

I've been back in therapy (1-1) for the last 3 months.

It is helping, massively but, gosh it takes its toll.  Each session is painful, funny and enlightening.  I learn something new about myself and how I deal with things.

OK - Today's session.

• I am not a terrible person, I'm actually articulate, funny and possibly creative.  Greg, my therapist, said that I am very funny.  I do use humour as a shield sometimes  (although I need to work on my delivery.
• Greg asked me about my screenplay and asked for a run down of the first act.  He liked it but worst pitch ever.  If I am ever in the position to sell this, I need to be prepared.  I was not expecting to be asked about it.  Totally unprepared.
• Anti-depressants are possibly no longer me (daily intake) but look to alternate support mechanisms (Beta-Blockers or something to reduce anxiety).
• I have massive issues with suppressing anger and dealing with it (in life outside of work).  Fight or Flight confirmed.  We discussed "Helicopter Theory" (Imagine you are in a situation, viewing it from above and evaluate it.  What could go wrong, what could make things go more smoothly).  (Note:  I am not violent and would never resort to a physical reaction unless my life, or that of Linda's was under threat.  Physical violence scares me)
• My "strange" family history.
• The darker stuff was super dark, not talking about it here.  Probably never (I hope)
• Depression and anxiety is a "time thief".  I realised this along time ago (NOT in a Galaxy Far Far Away).  I voiced my concerns that I am not feeling up to living like this tomorrow, next month...yadda yadda yadda but he assured me that I can change things.
• Physics and death.  I tried to apply basic physics.  Energy cannot be destroyed, it just changes it state/form.  You burn a piece of wood, that releases energy but my stupid,awful brain also applied this to death.  Energy changes form but no one has ever come back from the dead (yet!).  What if my brain (still aware) is trapped in a decaying body.....*shudder*.  That one will keep me awake for a long long time.
• Having good things to look forward to.  Life is not about hurdles and failure.  It's about perspective and more importantly, hope.
  
  So, that was my afternoon.  It felt like lancing a boil but I found out a few interesting things.
  
  So, Therapy wins today!
  
  YAY!